I tell everyone that one of my best qualities is disposability. Disposability in being a friend, disposability in being important, disposability in being a lover to someone. It is not a quality that I enjoy having, but one that is attached to me.
People like me are the ones standing in the back of the room, the ones that are unimportant in any discussion, in any aspect of life. People like me are easily pushed out of sight and out of mind.
I often wonder why it was so easy for the few people in my life that have been very important to me to leave me without looking back...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Day 2
Ok, I am on my second 24 hour shift back to back and I am so far behind on paperwork. I actually need someone to write my reports for me.
The tireness of being at work for this length of time is creeping up on me. No matter if I sleep all night without an ambulance call, I still don't sleep well at a station, always expecting the tones to drop, requiring us to go from asleep to clear headed and making the correct decisions in a matter of a few moments. So I wake up alot while at work, either on my own or by ambulance assignments.
This tireness is not uncommon for me, just worse when i am at work.
The tireness of being at work for this length of time is creeping up on me. No matter if I sleep all night without an ambulance call, I still don't sleep well at a station, always expecting the tones to drop, requiring us to go from asleep to clear headed and making the correct decisions in a matter of a few moments. So I wake up alot while at work, either on my own or by ambulance assignments.
This tireness is not uncommon for me, just worse when i am at work.
The shaking seizures
Have you ever seen anyone have a generalized seizure in a ditch full of water? Its kinda funny to see the person uncontrollability shake and put there head under water.
As Dr House says about seizures: "Interesting to watch, boring to diagnosis"
As Dr House says about seizures: "Interesting to watch, boring to diagnosis"
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The healing of the rain
The rain smells familiar, like a father holding a sick child, comforting. The coolness of the water, gently moisting my hair and skin, washing my sins away.
Like all others, there are aspects of me that I wish were not there, aspects of my personality, of my mannerism. So much negativity.
I enjoy the washing away of my faults and sins in the spring rain, the wishing of a fresh beginning. The ending of the cold winter, the nutrients that God bestows on us in the manner of alittle rain.
Like all others, there are aspects of me that I wish were not there, aspects of my personality, of my mannerism. So much negativity.
I enjoy the washing away of my faults and sins in the spring rain, the wishing of a fresh beginning. The ending of the cold winter, the nutrients that God bestows on us in the manner of alittle rain.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Dancing
Am I dancing?
So we are all dancing throughout life. Dancing alone, dancing with partners, dancing with groups, dancing alone once again. Life is all about the relationships that we have developed, the partners we dance with. Some dances are short lived, some dances last forever. The Minuet for our victories, the Reels when friends get together, the Shaker for our Judao-Christian faith, the Square dance when families got together, the Salsa, the Bolero, the Tango, the Lambama for our lovers.
We dance in the glory of the sun, we dance in the chilled healing waters of the rain. We dance on the mountain tops of our success and in the valleys of our failures (although often, our partners are carrying us while dancing in the valleys). We have dance nude in the bay window, we dance under the cover of a starless night.
I danced before my friends the Minuet when I completed Paramedic School, one of the greatest achievments in my life. I've danced the Shaker throughout high school and now later in life as finding Truth in the mist of the traditions and circumstances of Faith. I've danced the Bolero, the Tango, and the Lambama with two of the most beautiful women in the world. Today, I still dance the Reels with a dear friend, our dance restarting after so many years. Today, I still dance the Reels with a few close people.
Often I have felt that I was dancing alone, but I wasn't. I'm sure that others have thought they have danced alone, but they haven't. I have always been their dance partner, their hand clasped into mine, my hand gently on their backs.
And the dance continue!!!!
So we are all dancing throughout life. Dancing alone, dancing with partners, dancing with groups, dancing alone once again. Life is all about the relationships that we have developed, the partners we dance with. Some dances are short lived, some dances last forever. The Minuet for our victories, the Reels when friends get together, the Shaker for our Judao-Christian faith, the Square dance when families got together, the Salsa, the Bolero, the Tango, the Lambama for our lovers.
We dance in the glory of the sun, we dance in the chilled healing waters of the rain. We dance on the mountain tops of our success and in the valleys of our failures (although often, our partners are carrying us while dancing in the valleys). We have dance nude in the bay window, we dance under the cover of a starless night.
I danced before my friends the Minuet when I completed Paramedic School, one of the greatest achievments in my life. I've danced the Shaker throughout high school and now later in life as finding Truth in the mist of the traditions and circumstances of Faith. I've danced the Bolero, the Tango, and the Lambama with two of the most beautiful women in the world. Today, I still dance the Reels with a dear friend, our dance restarting after so many years. Today, I still dance the Reels with a few close people.
Often I have felt that I was dancing alone, but I wasn't. I'm sure that others have thought they have danced alone, but they haven't. I have always been their dance partner, their hand clasped into mine, my hand gently on their backs.
And the dance continue!!!!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Chillin and Killin
While on duty today we received a call for a fall in the bathtub. While enroute, our control center advised that the patient was in cardiac arrest but no bystander CPR was being performed. We arrive on scene and yes, the patient was in cardiac arrest. The following is textbook BLS and ACLS.
We started effective CPR, placed an OPA. One defibrillation, vasopressin, atropine, Glucagon IV for beta blocker interaction, dextrose 50% for diabetes, Epinephrine, Sodium Bicarbonate for acidosis, intubation, got a pulse back, lidocaine to increase fibrillation, dopamine infusion mixed and hung, lidocaine infusion mixed and hung and a nice quiet ride to the hospital.
I am sure that the patient will die, but at least now the family has the opportunity to say goodbye and not suddenly. Sometime, that is all we can hope for.
We started effective CPR, placed an OPA. One defibrillation, vasopressin, atropine, Glucagon IV for beta blocker interaction, dextrose 50% for diabetes, Epinephrine, Sodium Bicarbonate for acidosis, intubation, got a pulse back, lidocaine to increase fibrillation, dopamine infusion mixed and hung, lidocaine infusion mixed and hung and a nice quiet ride to the hospital.
I am sure that the patient will die, but at least now the family has the opportunity to say goodbye and not suddenly. Sometime, that is all we can hope for.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A Dream
Ok, I have done nothing but sleep most of the day today. After 73 hours on duty, my mind and body was exhaused. So while I am sleeping, I have a dream. Now for those that know me, I typically don't remember dreams. I have remember nightmares for years and it has been just recently that I have started to remember portions of good dreams, but never the entire dream, so this is something new for me. It was so real that I could access the memory while awake, like it was something I really did experience.
Ok, the time was now, like today and I am sitting in a cabin with a group of explorers. The cabin is somewhere in the moutains of California, but changes places to the mountains of Tennessee or North Carolina. These explorers were a group that crossed the entire length of the United States in the 1800s. (ok, so my timeframe isn't continuous.) They did the majority of the trip on foot, except for a dangerous pass in california, in which the group used a train that got caught in an avalanche. The stories they told were so real and so detailed. I felt like I was really there. The struggles for food, the coldness of the winters, the hotness of the summers, the deaths that occured on their struggles, the feeling of completion when their exploring was completed.
How strange was this?
Ok, the time was now, like today and I am sitting in a cabin with a group of explorers. The cabin is somewhere in the moutains of California, but changes places to the mountains of Tennessee or North Carolina. These explorers were a group that crossed the entire length of the United States in the 1800s. (ok, so my timeframe isn't continuous.) They did the majority of the trip on foot, except for a dangerous pass in california, in which the group used a train that got caught in an avalanche. The stories they told were so real and so detailed. I felt like I was really there. The struggles for food, the coldness of the winters, the hotness of the summers, the deaths that occured on their struggles, the feeling of completion when their exploring was completed.
How strange was this?
Only wanted to see you
"I don't care if anyone else sees me. I only wanted you to see me." a line that I heard as a nerdy young man is talking to a woman that he had a crush on that was way out of his league. She took his statement with silent acceptance, surely laughing on the inside as this young guy overstepped his place in the world and even thought that the nerdy guy and the very attractive girl would ever been together.
I have some insight into this. Growing up, I was misplaced and nerdy, the guy that didn't fit into any crowd, that had difficulty in making friends. Of course, I grew into myself in college and finally broke out of my shell after living through paramedic school. Yet, even today, I find myself misplaced alot of the time on a personal level. Now given my professional reputation, I am considered the "expert" of prehospital care in this area, but my personal life, not quite as confident.
I have always found myself on the outside of any personal circle. I don't have the personality to be a "cool" person and I don't always make a good impression, and keeping people at a distance futher pushes me outside the circle of close friends. But typically, I am the disposable one in the background, easily dismissed away and forgotten. I have been that nerdy person, the guy that most women found beneight them, the disposable one. It's not a bad thing or something that I am ashamed of, it is something that I accepted many many years ago. I'm a nerd and it is just one of those things. So when I do develop feelings or a crush on someone, I typically keep that information to myself. Rejection is a bitch and not something I am willing to risk.
From time to time, I write myself into the fabric of someone's life. Many times, I will see someone hurting or suffering a personal defeat and my heart goes out to them. Many times, I overstep those social boundaries to express my concern. It's a bad habit of mine, along with the neverending attempt to fix all problems.
My rambling's done for now.
I have some insight into this. Growing up, I was misplaced and nerdy, the guy that didn't fit into any crowd, that had difficulty in making friends. Of course, I grew into myself in college and finally broke out of my shell after living through paramedic school. Yet, even today, I find myself misplaced alot of the time on a personal level. Now given my professional reputation, I am considered the "expert" of prehospital care in this area, but my personal life, not quite as confident.
I have always found myself on the outside of any personal circle. I don't have the personality to be a "cool" person and I don't always make a good impression, and keeping people at a distance futher pushes me outside the circle of close friends. But typically, I am the disposable one in the background, easily dismissed away and forgotten. I have been that nerdy person, the guy that most women found beneight them, the disposable one. It's not a bad thing or something that I am ashamed of, it is something that I accepted many many years ago. I'm a nerd and it is just one of those things. So when I do develop feelings or a crush on someone, I typically keep that information to myself. Rejection is a bitch and not something I am willing to risk.
From time to time, I write myself into the fabric of someone's life. Many times, I will see someone hurting or suffering a personal defeat and my heart goes out to them. Many times, I overstep those social boundaries to express my concern. It's a bad habit of mine, along with the neverending attempt to fix all problems.
My rambling's done for now.
Middle of the Night
It is 0442 in the morning and I am waiting for the tones to drop for a transfer to Jackson. Middle age female vomiting bright red blood. I did good and didn't get any on me...that would have gtossed me out. I can't stand someone else's blood or fluids on me.
Hopefully they will send the other truck since I am scheduled to get off in a couple of hours, but we will see what happens.
Im so sleepy. I want to go back to bed. Maybe I should.
Hopefully they will send the other truck since I am scheduled to get off in a couple of hours, but we will see what happens.
Im so sleepy. I want to go back to bed. Maybe I should.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Today brings yesterday to mind
Today, in the confinds of my immediate response area, three persons died in different automobile collisions, including a 6 year old little girl.
Now death is not something that I dwell over, or something that I concern myself with. I see death routinely in my choosen career. But still, every time it involves a child, my mind has to stop for a bit. So let me share with you an ambulance call that involved a child.
Its 1845 Christmas Eve 12 years ago. That's right Christmas Eve. And yes, I do remember it. Sometimes, ghosts follow us the rest of our lives. I worked the night shift of a local hospital based ambulance service and our shift change was at 7. We normally went in alittle early to see what has happened that day, what kind of bullshit is going on, and to generally smoke cigs and hang out.
The 911 phone rings for a motor vehicle collison out in the county. Something in the dispatchers voice told us it was going to a bad collision so part of the day shift responded with the night shifts. Before it was over, all of our available units and staff were to b needed on scene.
We start responding and our dispatch contacts us via radio. A deputy on scene was doing CPR and people laying everywhere. unit 2 and 3 were immediately dispatched also. We continued our response, our minds focusing on our job. The normal chatting and conversations that we have ceased. Silence was in our ambulance during that response.
As we approach the scene, I see the broken glass and metal of 2 vehicles as the emergency lights bounced around the scene and bodies laying around. We slowly drive through the scene until we see the deputy bent over a small body, doing CPR. Fuck, this is going to be a real traumatic code. Now, understand that 12 years ago, the medical knowledge of the zero surviability of blunt trauma cardiac arrest was not a common practice of prehospital providers, not like today.
We jump out and immediately take over...unresponsive, apneic, pulseless, asystole on the cardiac monitor. One of my partners immediately started CPR as I prepared and properly inserted an ET tube into the small airway. Then quickly log rolled to a long spine board with C collar placed and secured. Loaded into the unit and gone to the hospital. I started an IO (IV in the bone marrow) enroute and gave the proper vasopressor medications. Dammit, we got a pulse back. Ceased CPR, checked a BP, it was too low, initiated a domapine infusion.
Upon arrival to the hospital, I turned the patient over to the waiting pediatrician who has already called for air medical to regional trauma center in Memphis and helped prepare for the arrival of 5 other critical patients from the 4 other ambulances that went to the scene.
A 17 year old prisoner from Parman Prison on holiday leave got drunk with his friends and struck the family.
I don't remember what the little girl looks like, but I can still hear the mother crying and saying "she hasn't even opened her christmas presents yet", and the family begging for a reason why this happened. We couldn't give her any. I remember my brain being about 5 steps ahead of my hands.
Pediatrics cause us to act differently. We can handle adults dying everyday, getting injured everyday, acting stupid everyday. A child involved; however, causes our hearts to be involved. I have permanent hearing loss from diving after a drowned child in a local spillway. I can remember hearing the mother crying so loudly, begging for us, anyone to help. Clothing removed and dove right in. As I was diving at about 10 feet down, my left eardrum riped open from the pressure. Dammit. I had issues with my eardrum in my childhood and was not suppose to go more than 5 feet in water...but I did anyway...and I would today.
We could go only 12 feet down. The child was 16 feet down, trapped by a limb in the water.
I remember my then live-in girlfriend, now ex-wife getting upset at me for diving for that child. She was trying to remind me of all the things that could have harmed me. I explained that I couldn't help it. The mother's crys for help were too much for me to stand there and do nothing. I can still hear those cries.
Now death is not something that I dwell over, or something that I concern myself with. I see death routinely in my choosen career. But still, every time it involves a child, my mind has to stop for a bit. So let me share with you an ambulance call that involved a child.
Its 1845 Christmas Eve 12 years ago. That's right Christmas Eve. And yes, I do remember it. Sometimes, ghosts follow us the rest of our lives. I worked the night shift of a local hospital based ambulance service and our shift change was at 7. We normally went in alittle early to see what has happened that day, what kind of bullshit is going on, and to generally smoke cigs and hang out.
The 911 phone rings for a motor vehicle collison out in the county. Something in the dispatchers voice told us it was going to a bad collision so part of the day shift responded with the night shifts. Before it was over, all of our available units and staff were to b needed on scene.
We start responding and our dispatch contacts us via radio. A deputy on scene was doing CPR and people laying everywhere. unit 2 and 3 were immediately dispatched also. We continued our response, our minds focusing on our job. The normal chatting and conversations that we have ceased. Silence was in our ambulance during that response.
As we approach the scene, I see the broken glass and metal of 2 vehicles as the emergency lights bounced around the scene and bodies laying around. We slowly drive through the scene until we see the deputy bent over a small body, doing CPR. Fuck, this is going to be a real traumatic code. Now, understand that 12 years ago, the medical knowledge of the zero surviability of blunt trauma cardiac arrest was not a common practice of prehospital providers, not like today.
We jump out and immediately take over...unresponsive, apneic, pulseless, asystole on the cardiac monitor. One of my partners immediately started CPR as I prepared and properly inserted an ET tube into the small airway. Then quickly log rolled to a long spine board with C collar placed and secured. Loaded into the unit and gone to the hospital. I started an IO (IV in the bone marrow) enroute and gave the proper vasopressor medications. Dammit, we got a pulse back. Ceased CPR, checked a BP, it was too low, initiated a domapine infusion.
Upon arrival to the hospital, I turned the patient over to the waiting pediatrician who has already called for air medical to regional trauma center in Memphis and helped prepare for the arrival of 5 other critical patients from the 4 other ambulances that went to the scene.
A 17 year old prisoner from Parman Prison on holiday leave got drunk with his friends and struck the family.
I don't remember what the little girl looks like, but I can still hear the mother crying and saying "she hasn't even opened her christmas presents yet", and the family begging for a reason why this happened. We couldn't give her any. I remember my brain being about 5 steps ahead of my hands.
Pediatrics cause us to act differently. We can handle adults dying everyday, getting injured everyday, acting stupid everyday. A child involved; however, causes our hearts to be involved. I have permanent hearing loss from diving after a drowned child in a local spillway. I can remember hearing the mother crying so loudly, begging for us, anyone to help. Clothing removed and dove right in. As I was diving at about 10 feet down, my left eardrum riped open from the pressure. Dammit. I had issues with my eardrum in my childhood and was not suppose to go more than 5 feet in water...but I did anyway...and I would today.
We could go only 12 feet down. The child was 16 feet down, trapped by a limb in the water.
I remember my then live-in girlfriend, now ex-wife getting upset at me for diving for that child. She was trying to remind me of all the things that could have harmed me. I explained that I couldn't help it. The mother's crys for help were too much for me to stand there and do nothing. I can still hear those cries.
The blahs of a long shift
Today is my 3rd 24 hour shift in a row, and I am tired. Given the few hours of continuous sleep that I have received over the last two days, along with the whole fact of not sleeping well at a station is just got me blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
However, I have found myself thinking alot of a certain non-coworker health care professional that I saw recently...
the tones just dropped once again
However, I have found myself thinking alot of a certain non-coworker health care professional that I saw recently...
the tones just dropped once again
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Dumb Asses
Ok, little old woman falls and breaks her hip. Not a big deal, simply done. I medicated her before moving her, morphine is a wonderful medication. But we have to take her to a hospital that has orthopedic surgeon for evaluation. Again, not a big deal, simply done...except one hospital. Now for the sake of this discussion, I will not name the facility on this blog, but everyone around this area is greatly familiar with this local hospital and the stand off rude persona that they give off to the patients.
We transport her to the hospital quietly and during the trip, I explain to her what typically occurs with these types of fractures. They will admit you, put traction on your leg which will help with the pain and then have surgery either tomorrow or probably Monday.
This little old 80ish woman isn't happy about being down with a broken hip. She kept telling me that she was suppose to get a special flower on Sunday for being the oldest mother at her church. She is alittle scared, she holds my hand for the entire ride to this hospital, approximately 25 miles in duration.
Upon arrival to the local hospital that advertises orthopedic speciality and that under the CMN website that lists the specialities available has orthopedic listed, the ED doctor, a rent-a-doc from an agency, walked in and without looking at or assessing the patient, looks at me and asks "why did you bring her here?"
"she has a probable broken hip, this is the closest orthopedic hospital"
"Our orthopedic isn't on call"
"I have no way of knowing that"
"You should have called us before transporting"
"Fax us a call schedule everyday like we have asked for over a year now"
"We are going to have to transfer her"
"OK"
"Which hip is broke?"
"left"
The ED physician is in blue, I am in red in this conversation, the color is important later. The doctor leaves the room, a nurse still has not arrived to see the patient. Notice that the doctor talked to me the entire time and never ever evaluated the patient.
Now, I have been a paramedic long enough that I know that physicians and nurses have the tendency to look down on EMS, like we are stupid. But I'm not a stupid paramedic. I am actually one of the best ones in the state. I have also been working with my current employer long enough to know that the owner likes to know when external complaints are sent our way. So I excuse myself from the ED finally after a nurse finishes accepting the patient and call the owner. I explain the situation and his only words were "They have to send us a call schedule every day. If they would do that, we would be happy to follow it." Again, not a big deal.
As I walk back into the ED, the local "rent-a-doc" told me that he is going to have to talk to my boss about this. Not a problem, I gave him the owner's telephone number and offered to dial it myself for him since I just got off the phone with him. I also gave the doctor the Regional Trauma Coordinator's number and offered to dial it for him, and the State Department of Health Bureau of EMS ALS Coordinator's number and offered to dial it for him. Of course, he refused all of that. I offered to let him contact our medical control physician and for me to dial it for him, again he refused. I guess being polite to the bully worked.
As I sat down and was finishing my paperwork, the local ED physician asked me about who covers the area that my station is located at. I told him we have many ambulances that covers many areas, there is just no way of knowing who exactly is covering right now. Then he said, "I understand now. Yall brought her up here to get out of the transfer" And I SAW RED!!!
I immediately get up and walk outside and call the owner again. When he picks up the phone and says hello, I say "This mother fucker has now accused me of dumping this patient on him!!" The owner is trying to calm me down and I am steadily saying "I am fixing to lose my job cause I want to cuss this mother fucker out". My boss is good about letting me vent to him as he vents towards me. Hell, him and I have stood nose to nose scream and cussing each other out and I still have a job. Good boss.
The owner tells me to explain to the ED physician that we did not dump this patient and that we are standing by to take this patient where ever he decides to transfer the patient to. I go inside and tell this son of a bitch doctor this in a professional manner. He says that it is not necessary. Then I start. "Hell no, you stand here in front of your staff and accuss me of dumping this patient off on you, accuss me of not doing my job when all I did was my job within the guidelines of the regional trauma destination guidelines." "We are going to take this transfer because we are a professional ambulance service and we provide excellent care to our patients." "And don't you ever talk to me the way you have talked to me tonight. You have absolutely no say in what I do and how I do it. Your job is to just accept the patients and say Thank you Michael"
In the meantime, the owner of my company has called this local ED and is talking to the head staff person, who all can is "yes sir, yes sir, yes sir". I now know some of the conversation that took place and I know the steps that are going to be taken against this local hospital, but it is not for me to write here (but it involves the Regional Trauma System, State Department of Health, and the EMTALA people).
The transfer is ready a hour and a half later (over 3 hours since falling) and we go in and get our patient. The patient and family is in the room and they are so excited about us taking this patient to a regional hospital in Jackson, MS. She expresses such a dislike for this local hospital and its staff.
As we were rolling the patient past the nurses station on our way to our ambulance, the patient shouts out "Im so sorry that yall don't give a shit about people". I immediately start laughing very hard.
She made the trip to Jackson very well. The staff at Mississippi Baptist were excellent. Exactly what you would think an ED department would be like. To compare the two hospitals is like night and day.
Come to find out, the staff and ED doctors at this local hospital routinely talk down to the ambulance crews of MedStat. WTF is up with that?
We transport her to the hospital quietly and during the trip, I explain to her what typically occurs with these types of fractures. They will admit you, put traction on your leg which will help with the pain and then have surgery either tomorrow or probably Monday.
This little old 80ish woman isn't happy about being down with a broken hip. She kept telling me that she was suppose to get a special flower on Sunday for being the oldest mother at her church. She is alittle scared, she holds my hand for the entire ride to this hospital, approximately 25 miles in duration.
Upon arrival to the local hospital that advertises orthopedic speciality and that under the CMN website that lists the specialities available has orthopedic listed, the ED doctor, a rent-a-doc from an agency, walked in and without looking at or assessing the patient, looks at me and asks "why did you bring her here?"
"she has a probable broken hip, this is the closest orthopedic hospital"
"Our orthopedic isn't on call"
"I have no way of knowing that"
"You should have called us before transporting"
"Fax us a call schedule everyday like we have asked for over a year now"
"We are going to have to transfer her"
"OK"
"Which hip is broke?"
"left"
The ED physician is in blue, I am in red in this conversation, the color is important later. The doctor leaves the room, a nurse still has not arrived to see the patient. Notice that the doctor talked to me the entire time and never ever evaluated the patient.
Now, I have been a paramedic long enough that I know that physicians and nurses have the tendency to look down on EMS, like we are stupid. But I'm not a stupid paramedic. I am actually one of the best ones in the state. I have also been working with my current employer long enough to know that the owner likes to know when external complaints are sent our way. So I excuse myself from the ED finally after a nurse finishes accepting the patient and call the owner. I explain the situation and his only words were "They have to send us a call schedule every day. If they would do that, we would be happy to follow it." Again, not a big deal.
As I walk back into the ED, the local "rent-a-doc" told me that he is going to have to talk to my boss about this. Not a problem, I gave him the owner's telephone number and offered to dial it myself for him since I just got off the phone with him. I also gave the doctor the Regional Trauma Coordinator's number and offered to dial it for him, and the State Department of Health Bureau of EMS ALS Coordinator's number and offered to dial it for him. Of course, he refused all of that. I offered to let him contact our medical control physician and for me to dial it for him, again he refused. I guess being polite to the bully worked.
As I sat down and was finishing my paperwork, the local ED physician asked me about who covers the area that my station is located at. I told him we have many ambulances that covers many areas, there is just no way of knowing who exactly is covering right now. Then he said, "I understand now. Yall brought her up here to get out of the transfer" And I SAW RED!!!
I immediately get up and walk outside and call the owner again. When he picks up the phone and says hello, I say "This mother fucker has now accused me of dumping this patient on him!!" The owner is trying to calm me down and I am steadily saying "I am fixing to lose my job cause I want to cuss this mother fucker out". My boss is good about letting me vent to him as he vents towards me. Hell, him and I have stood nose to nose scream and cussing each other out and I still have a job. Good boss.
The owner tells me to explain to the ED physician that we did not dump this patient and that we are standing by to take this patient where ever he decides to transfer the patient to. I go inside and tell this son of a bitch doctor this in a professional manner. He says that it is not necessary. Then I start. "Hell no, you stand here in front of your staff and accuss me of dumping this patient off on you, accuss me of not doing my job when all I did was my job within the guidelines of the regional trauma destination guidelines." "We are going to take this transfer because we are a professional ambulance service and we provide excellent care to our patients." "And don't you ever talk to me the way you have talked to me tonight. You have absolutely no say in what I do and how I do it. Your job is to just accept the patients and say Thank you Michael"
In the meantime, the owner of my company has called this local ED and is talking to the head staff person, who all can is "yes sir, yes sir, yes sir". I now know some of the conversation that took place and I know the steps that are going to be taken against this local hospital, but it is not for me to write here (but it involves the Regional Trauma System, State Department of Health, and the EMTALA people).
The transfer is ready a hour and a half later (over 3 hours since falling) and we go in and get our patient. The patient and family is in the room and they are so excited about us taking this patient to a regional hospital in Jackson, MS. She expresses such a dislike for this local hospital and its staff.
As we were rolling the patient past the nurses station on our way to our ambulance, the patient shouts out "Im so sorry that yall don't give a shit about people". I immediately start laughing very hard.
She made the trip to Jackson very well. The staff at Mississippi Baptist were excellent. Exactly what you would think an ED department would be like. To compare the two hospitals is like night and day.
Come to find out, the staff and ED doctors at this local hospital routinely talk down to the ambulance crews of MedStat. WTF is up with that?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
72 hour shift
Today I started a 72 hour shift on one of the ambulances. Today has been slow, that goodness. One hypoglycemic patient, one transfer to UMC, and one traumatic non-critical injury. The heavy rain has come and gone, night has fallen, darker than usual as the cloud coverage keeps the stars and moon from guiding our paths. I love night time, the quietness of our modern world, the peacefullness of our society sleeping.
I love being a paramedic. it is absolutely one of the best jobs in the world. And without sounding brash or bragging, I am one of the very best at being a paramedic. I love being the person that cares and calms and makes someone's nightmare better.
I will update the blog as the shift continues. Maybe it will be boring.
I love being a paramedic. it is absolutely one of the best jobs in the world. And without sounding brash or bragging, I am one of the very best at being a paramedic. I love being the person that cares and calms and makes someone's nightmare better.
I will update the blog as the shift continues. Maybe it will be boring.
The Power of the Pen
The power of the pen, the power of the written word. The power to heal, the power to destroy, the power to unite, the power to seperate.
I love to write, to free my mind and spirit and allow random thoughts the expression that would never be mentioned, never be allowed outside the normal confinds of the proper Judo-Christian society. I love to have the freedom of thought, the ability to dream on paper, to lose myself within the creation of that which is only my thoughts, my ideas.
This is the first of hopefully alot of blogs, the first of expression and freedom
Where does our spirits go when we no longer need them? Where does our hearts go to heal? where does our imagination go when no other dreams can be created and controlled? Where is the place where we heal, where we become a person again, where the hardness of life's ugly profanity and ironic humor no longer effects us?
if we are lucky in our walk to the end of our existance, we will be blessed with the presence of true, unconditional love and true friends in which will become an inseperatable part of our lives. I am lucky that I have had such friends in my life, Im lucky I still have such friends in my life.
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